By: Carlos O’Ryan

Online Editor

It is ludicrous to think that there are people within our wonderful, intellectual community that give into baseless conspiracies, and make attempts to spread falsehoods about our planet Earth. It is unbelievable that there are Round-Earthers in Howard County.

Round-Earthers are literally the scourge of this beautiful, FLAT Earth. They feed our children lies and various airplane chemicals in order to appease their Evil Overlord, Barack Obama. And that is just the tip of the iceberg, speaking of which, don’t actually exist, since global warming is a fabrication by the Lizard-people from the Moon, (which, by the way, is a hologram created by NASA that is used to conceal their massive space station/death ray, the “Not-Alive-Inator”), in order to make good capitalist businesses cut down on profits.

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Photo Credit: The Truth


“Global Warming” also has no chance of existing, since Antarctica is actually just a massive wall of ice that encircles our gorgeous, pristine, FLAT Earth, if the “ice caps” were actually melting, the water would be spilling off of the sides. But, Big Brother insists that the sea-levels are rising, but that literally makes no sense, so, take that! Also, if the water were actually spilling off of the sides, which, it is not, would that actually be a bad thing? Think about it, we all know about Golgathar, the World Turtle, who, much like the mythological Atlas, holds the weight of the FLAT Earth on his beautiful, strong, reptilian shoulders. If our oceans were slowing receding into the depths of Outer Space, then it would simply be a blessing for Golgathar, who would most certainly be parched after holding up the Earth for as long as it has existed, which is about 10,000 years.

The truth is hard to come by nowadays, and it is unfortunate to see that there are innocent children in our beautiful country that are falling victim to the predatory lies of Round-Earthers, who apparently can see the curvature of the Earth. Just take a look at the horizon, is there a visible curve? Exactly, there is not. The truth is out there, folks, it is just up to everyone else to decide what it is.